Keeping a Marriage Together When Your Spouse Decides Against Religion

By Kristie Brown

Oftentimes, marriages are based on a foundation of religion. True believers will follow the Bible's teachings and only marry someone of like faith. This makes a harmonious core to the union as well as the family when children come along. Unfortunately, there are times when one spouse or the other becomes disillusioned with their religion. It may be caused by a Pastor they can't see eye-to-eye with, or maybe a tragedy has taken place in their life that they are blaming God for. Whatever the reason, this decision can cause issues in even the strongest marriage.
Chances are good that a couple which finds itself in this position which is shaking their relationship down to its basic core will have difficulties understanding each other. The two people are violating one of the areas which they had in common. This can make the spouse who's still attending church feel alone and abandoned. Even if your spouse may give validity to your decision to stop going to church, he or she isn't going to understand. To some people, church attendance is as natural and necessary to life as breathing. They were raised to believe that it was a part of all solid marriages, and when their spouse wants to give up on religion, it's almost like he or she is giving up on their marriage.
There are ways to counteract the effects of one spouse's lack of religious fervor, however. For the most part, these efforts are the same ones that you need to make for any healthy marriage. Start out by having a true commitment to your marriage, no matter what happens. If you truly love your spouse, you need to expect to adapt throughout the years to changes that are going to take place and to accept them when they happen. Just as you need to adjust to your spouse's aging body and changes in interests over the years, you also need to learn tolerance when he or she makes a major decision, such as the discontinuation of religion.
Communication is crucial to any successful relationship, and never so much as when you're going through a period of transition. Keep your conversations blame-free and non-accusing while you discuss the reasons why your spouse feels the way they do as well as your own feelings about what is taking place. Losing your temper will not help the situation at all, so be sure to keep your cool no matter how vehemently you may oppose the step your loved one has taken. It's going to take some effort to get through this change, but it can be done.
 www.selfgrowth.com

Living with an alcoholic – some dos and don’ts.

By John McMahon
One of the commonest questions anyone working in the addiction field is asked is “How can I stop my wife/husband/partner from drinking so much?” Unfortunately the short answer to that is – you can’t. They will stop when it suits them, whether that is because they hurt so much or because circumstances change. That is painful to hear, but nevertheless it is true.
There is some good news, however, and that is if you can’t actually stop them drinking then there are things that you can do, or stop doing, that will make it more likely that they will take action and/or seek help for their drinking. Below I have listed a number of things that you should avoid doing as they often have the opposite effect to intended, making the situation even worse. I will discuss the things that you should do in another article.
Don’t protect the drinker from the naturally occurring consequences of drinking. If they embarrass themselves don’t make excuses, or if they fall don’t pick them up. Only intervene if there is a danger of the drinker being injured. For most people this kind of ‘tough love’ is a difficult thing to do, just ignore a loved one when they are drunk goes very much against the grain. However, protecting the drinker means that they never suffer the consequences and so are never aware of the severity of their drinking. Since many believe that problem drinkers only seek help when they are hurting, so protecting the drinker only delays that time coming and that it could be argued is more cruel.
Don’t protect the drinker from other consequences. If they take time off work through being too drunk or too hungover, don’t phone the boss and give an excuse. The problem drinker is only too happy for someone else to accept responsibility whereas they need to accept responsibility for their own behaviour if they are to change.
Don’t collude with the drinker. If they spend all their money on drink don’t lend them money or pay their debts. Again this is protecting and delays recognition of the extent of the problem.
Don’t join in and drink along with the drinker. It may seem a natural thing to do – “if you can’t beat them join them” but this just makes the drinking behaviour appear to be normal, which of course it’s not. Besides if you try and keep up you could end up needing help yourself, and one drunk is more than enough for any household.
Don’t scream and shout and nag about the drinking behaviour. This just provides an excuse to drink even more. That is, the logic that is used here is “I drink because you nag” rather than “You nag because I drink”. Yea, I know that is not logical but hey this is not about logic, its about drinking.
Don’t make threats and give ultimatums. Unless you are actually prepared to carry out these threats and ultimatums they will lose any power to influence the drinker. In fact, they may even provide an excuse for drinking, especially if there is a pattern of drinking to avoid stress and painful circumstances. Therefore you could be left feeling even more frustrated than before.
Don’t cry and sulk and withdraw to punish the drinker. The drinker can again view his as behaviour best avoided by getting drunk, perhaps with the immortal words “No wonder I drink, look at you!”.
Don’t try and have a meaningful conversation about the drinkers behaviour or your lives together when the drinker is intoxicated. It is easy to get lured into a conversation – don’t. Wait till the morning or when they are sober.

How to Cope With a Heartbreak

1.Get rid of such objects that remind you of the person who broke your heart. Return, sell, burn, or throw them away. Get rid of photos, letters, emails, and other such items.

2.Avoid that person if possible. Try to minimize meetings with your former love.

3.Recognize the reasons why you feel bad, think of ways in which some of these reasons can be eliminated or avoided.

4.Remember why the romance ended. The relationship ended because you deserve better.

5.Remember there will be better days ahead.

6.Spend more time with your friends and family.

7.If you do not workout or exercise, start doing that, as it helps reduce stress and depression. Exercise will help improve your body and self image.

8.Take a bath or shower when feeling very unhappy.

9.Start a new hobby or pastime. The pleasure of accomplishing something will counter act to the feelings of sadness.

10.Keep busy.

11.Find activities to do that make you happy. Stay away from sad movies and the like.

12.Listen to music that gets adrenaline rushing, do not listen to slow, sad or romantic songs.

13.Meet new people, you might find someone who will heal your heart.
From wikihow.com

10 Great Places to Meet New Men

If you are tired of searching for a man in the usual singles scenes such as bars and nightclubs, it may be time to broaden your horizons and try alternative locations for meeting men. If you think outside the box and begin exploring new locations you may find that meeting a man who shares your interests is easier than you thought. A few non traditional locations for meeting men include gyms, animal shelters, home improvement stores and sports bars. While these locations may contain a high male to female relationship it's important to choose a location where you are comfortable to search for Mr. Right. If you don't enjoy working out or are allergic to animals it would be best to avoid gyms and animal shelters in your quest for a mate because they will most likely lead to you finding a man who is not compatible with you. There are many locations that are filled with available men and these are great locations to meet new men.
The gym is a great place to meet new men. If you don't already have a gym membership, sign up for your local gym and prepare to meet a multitude of new men. Even if you don't find your Prince Charming at the gym, you will have at least had the opportunity to enjoy some physical activity. The gym is a great place to meet men for a number of reasons. First of all while women make up a significant percentage of the gym, men still make up the larger percentage of clientele at most gyms. Venturing into historically male dominated areas such as the weight room heightens your chance of meeting a new man. You can take the opportunity as one of the few women in the weight room to chat up a man and ask his advice.

If you are an animal lover, you can meet available new men at your local animal shelter. If you have a love for animals and a desire to meet a new man head on down to an animal shelter on a busy weekend afternoon. Here you may find many men in search of a canine companion. The bonus in this situation is that the single men are easy to spot. Men involved in a relationship wouldn't consider adopting a dog without their partner's input so you can be sure that if there isn't a woman hanging on his arm, he is available.

Outdoor activities such as hiking also present an opportunity for meeting new men. Instead of dressing up and heading out to a chic nightclub in the evening try waking up early and hitting the hiking trails with one of your pals. If you are interested in meeting the rugged outdoors type of man, this can be your opportunity to meet an available man.

Anther great place to meet new men is a home improvement store. These stores are almost overrun with handy men. You may find the man of the dreams in the tool aisle or at the very least may find a man who is capable of fixing a leaky faucet for you. While home improvement and maintenance may not be your idea of a way to spend a Saturday evening you might be pleasantly surprised by the number of available men wandering the aisles of a home improvement store on a weekend night.

If you are interested in meeting an artistic man, coffee houses are another place to meet new men. The relaxed, cozy atmosphere of a coffee house provides the perfect mood to strike up a casual conversation with a new man. Coffee houses invite customers to linger over the coffee and this is the ideal opportunity to approach a man who catches your eye.

The woman who enjoys sports would be well advised to visit a sports bar on the night of an important local game to meet the man of her dreams. This location works wonders for meeting new many for a few reasons. First you will most likely be one of only a few women in the bar and secondly displaying any knowledge of the sport will charm the men in the bar.

If you have a specific interest or hobby, try taking a course on the subject. In doing so you will further your knowledge about your hobby and may meet a new man in the process. Many men enjoy taking courses and learning about new activities so you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by the number of men in your class.

If you are the athletic type, you may find a great place to meet new men is in a local sports league. Try signing up for a recreational league in either a sport you enjoy or one that you have always wanted to learn. Some cities even have singles leagues that you might be interested in joining. This will give you the opportunity to meet a wealth of men who share you love of sports. Even if you don't wind up meeting the man of the dreams you will have at least had the opportunity to participate in a sport you enjoy.

The technically inclined, modern woman may choose to meet new men online. There are plenty of dating sites available on the Internet that are just full of single men looking to make a love connection. You may find personals sites that cater to a specific interest or those that cater to specific demographic groups. Searching for a man online affords you the ability to read through personals ads at your leisure and allows you to search and sort men according to different categories.

Another great place to meet new men is a Laundromat. Even if you own your own washer and dryer, head on down to your local Laundromat and you are sure to meet available men. While the Laundromat may not be your ideal location for meeting a new man, there are some distinct advantages to meeting a man in a Laundromat. First you can be almost positive that a guy doing his laundry by himself is truly single and secondly it never hurt to meet a man who is capable of doing his own laundry.

If you find yourself frustrated with the lack of new men available at bars and nightclubs try venturing out to different locations to meet new men. The key to doing this is to choose an activity you enjoy and head out to an appropriate location in search of a compatible man. Men are out there doing just about every activity imaginable so whether you like artistic, athletic or handy men, there are more than a few places that are great for meeting new men.

Culled from http://www.active-relationship.com

Valentines Day Ideas

It's very important on Valentine's Day to acknowledge your partner and honor your relationship. For those who aren't able or fond of spending lots of money on gifts however, try one (or all!) of these Valentine's Day ideas to say I love you.

#. Purchase some clear red balloons. Before blowing them up, place either wrapped candies, small gifts, and/or love poems inside each one, and then give them to your loved one as a bouquet.

#. Make a meal only out of heart-shaped items, foods that are red, or both.


# Knit a scarf.

# Write a love letter to say I love you.

# Create handmade coupons with gifts your partner can use anytime, such as a massage or a night out on the town with friends.

# Does your partner ever ask you why you love them? Then create your own little booklet using dollar store items just for them entitled, "Why I Love You: # Reasons".

# Make a mixed CD of all of your favorite songs, or create a compilation of love songs that remind you of your mate. Better yet, learn how to play one of these love songs on the guitar and serenade him or her on Valentine's Day.

special present to celebrate your anniversary?

Looking for a special present to celebrate your anniversary? Whether it's your first or your golden celebration, we've got hundreds of gift ideas for you.

First: paper
Second: cotton
Third: leather
Fourth: linen
Fifth: wood
Sixth: iron
Seventh: copper
Eighth: bronze
Ninth: pottery
Tenth: tin or aluminium
Eleventh: steel
Twelfth: silk
Thirteenth: lace
Fourteenth: ivory
Fifteenth: crystal
Twentieth: china
Twenty-fifth: silver
Thirtieth: pearls
Thirty-fifth: coral or jade
Fortieth: rubies
Forty-fifth: sapphires
Fiftieth: gold
Fifty-fifth: emeralds
Sixtieth: diamonds

Guys! Do not neglect your partner.

Neglecting your partner. This includes things like drinking, addictions, workaholism, and just plain ignoring your partner. Men seem to have more trouble with this because it is almost acceptable socially for men to spend “a little more time at work” or have a couple of extra drinks.Neglect of any amount is bad because it runs against the main purpose of any relationship — which is to provide companionship — that all important meeting of one another’s needs. When other activities get in the way of our family, we will always wind up short-changing our partner.

If we take an inventory and make adjustments in how we spend our time, we’ve taken the first step in correcting this problem.

Some of the best relationship advice I can offer a man is to treat your partner as the equal and important person they are by spending enough quality time together to satisfy each of your requirements for contact and to maintain that romantic connection. Don’t be a “Missing in Action” partner.